Movie Review: Ocean’s 13
By Doug on June 17th, 2007
It’s common knowledge that trilogies are risky endeavors. When I think of the parts of a trilogy I think of the same expression I tell homeless people when they ask me for spare change: “Hey, we can’t all be winners.” The basic rule of trilogies is: one of them, usually the 2nd, is going to suck. Just look at Return of the Jedi, Temple of Doom, Godfather III, Beverly Hills Cop 3 and Live Free or Die Hard* to get an idea of what I mean. Or think of when Michael Jordan played for the Washington Wizards.
*I know Live Free or Die Hard is the 4th movie and isn’t out yet but I got a hunch it’s due for suckage (It’s rated PG-13, for fuck’s sake). By the way, is Die Hard now referred to as a quadilogy?
For all those examples of the 2-1=3 rule of trilogies there is also the possibility of two, not just one, but two of them sucking. I refer to Major League, The Matrix, The Sandlot and Tremors, all examples of a grandtastic idea Hollywooded into a big pile of poop.
After the monstrosity that was Ocean’s 12, I was more than a little afraid that Ocean’s 13 was going to suck more than your mom. Luckily, the movie worked. Well, it worked in a relative sense. It’s not like it’s a good movie but it’s still good. It’s good in the same sense that Entourage is good: beautiful people doing cool shit and that’s it.
And just like Entourage and the first two Ocean’s, this one had its share of implausible plot elements, but you know what else had a lot of plot holes and stuff that would never happen? Million Dollar Baby. We all know women can’t fight. Huuuuge plot hole right there and it won the Oscar for Best Picture. All right, I guess 11’s plot was a bit more of a stretch than Million Dollar Baby and 12, well, the less we talk about Ocean’s 12 the better.
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