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Another day, another mothereffing earthquake. If we get one more of these, I may pack my bags and head back to Oklahoma where people are safe from danger (except for tornadoes, meth addicts & nothing to do). Want to hear my exciting account of the earthquake? Well, buckle the fuck up, brother!

I was sitting in my living room with my laptop and noticed the chandelier & windows blinds were swaying back and forth. At first, I just dismissed it as the wind. My roommate and I routinely leave all of our windows open so we can enjoy that cool Southern California breeze which brings with it the fresh scent of lilac and jasmine and love. But then, I realized all the windows were closed. Did you read that? ALL THE WINDOWS WERE CLOSED!!!

I then did what I do with every earthquake I’ve felt. I sat there debating whether or not to get up and do anything and by the time I decided to do something, which was go stand by the door of my apartment (for some reason), the earthquake was done. I was left feeling a little bit nauseous after the fact, too. True story.

Speaking of exciting true stories, here’s a few from today that I found to be neat:

Space shuttle Discovery launches for some reason. If someone can give me one good reason why we still have NASA, I’m all ears. Actually, keep your damned whiny liberal stance to yourself, hippy boy.

Emmit Smith’s family tree has slaves in it. In equally shocking news, I brushed my teeth this morning. That was the only comment I could make about this story without coming across as a complete racist.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 5th, 2010 at 12:17 pm and is filed under Only in LA, Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.