Grood.com

Hi, my name’s Doug. This is my motherfucking sandwich. A quick rundown of ingredients: wholewheat flaxseed bread, mayo, mustard, chili con queso, pastrami, white onion, peppered turkey, beefsteak tomato, heirloom tomato, honey ham, orange bell pepper, pepperoni, pickle, lettuce and brass balls.

Why did I make such an audacious sandwich? Well, to quote JFK, “There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.” The stars were aligned with this sandwich’s creation. This sandwich was a perfect storm consisting of 30% necessity, 30% ambition, 30% improvisation and 30% inspiration.

But Doug, that adds up to 120%. I know.

This sandwich was the highlight of my day and maybe even my year. Meanwhile, a 13-year-old boy is planning on climbing Mt. Everest. Fuck him.

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