By Doug on June 14th, 2009
I was driving down the 101 yesterday on the way to the Dodgers game and got behind a Toyota Camry with a big sticker on the back window, actually it was three stickers on the back window, that read “Wit Da Bizzniz.”
Really?!? What kind of business are you in that would allow you to have such a fancy car? I’ve been driving my Honda Accord for a few years now and I have to admit I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to sit in the lap of luxury. I think I need to get a new job.
By Doug on June 2nd, 2009
Ever had someone tell you about doing something and then compare its completion to finishing a marathon? It’s never like a marathon at all, is it?
“I was stuck on the highway forever. It took like half an hour to go a mile. It was awful. It was like a marathon.” Oh yeah? That’s weird, in the three marathons I’ve run I don’t recall ever sitting for two hours.
“I had to stuff envelopes for like three hours. It was like a marathon.” No, asshole, it wasn’t. Paper cuts aren’t a risk normally associated with running 26.2 miles.
“We had to load up our two bedroom into a Uhaul and drive two miles and unload it all. There were like two flight of stairs. Ugggghhhh, it was like a marathon.” Look, fuckface. What are you, a girl? When you run a marathon you can’t just take a break halfway through and order a pizza and split a six-pack.
By Doug on May 21st, 2009
Just for the record, I saw him wheel that thing down the middle of the lane for about thirty seconds. Cars were going around him.
By Doug on May 19th, 2009
Well, it turns out Ice T and I have at least two things in common: Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em is an awful, awful rapper and big white asses are A-OK.
I was listening to the radio today, which is odd because the radio in LA sucks more than your sister did when she showed up at my cousin’s bachelor party two years ago, and this song came on. And Oh My Fucking God is it awful. It’s so bad that I think black people should consider it to be racist. Cuz it definitely doesn’t make black people look good. Music for that matter, too.
Just awful.
By Doug on May 10th, 2009
What is wrong with the British? Just what is wrong? I found this article last week and I’m still trying to figure out just what the hell “I was cough my head” means. I even considered the notion that it was a typo but a week later and the headline remains.
Seriously, am I missing something? I’ve been reading and writing English for a little under 25 years and I even studied writing in college so I’m pretty confident in my ability to decipher text in an orderly and efficient manner, but what the fuck?
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