Grood.com

Surely they knew the still from Ice Age 3 looked like male genitalia, right?

I didn’t want to go to your stupid memorial service for your stupid King of Pop anyways.

Sure about that?

Guys like this are why phones have cameras.

Jesus Horatio Christ, again! I asked this last time when Eminem was cough his head but seriously, am I missing something here? I know there are a few differences between American English and English English but it has to do with saying lift instead of elevator and telly instead of television and other little faggy variations like that but Students are toff their heads? Did they just make that up for this article?

Want to know what toff means? According to The Free Dictionary, toff means a member of the upper classes, especially one who is elegantly dressed. So, that headline is saying students are upper classing and dressing elegantly their heads. If there was ever any question as to how we beat the English in war, this is the answer.

I was driving down the 101 yesterday on the way to the Dodgers game and got behind a Toyota Camry with a big sticker on the back window, actually it was three stickers on the back window, that read “Wit Da Bizzniz.”

Really?!? What kind of business are you in that would allow you to have such a fancy car? I’ve been driving my Honda Accord for a few years now and I have to admit I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to sit in the lap of luxury. I think I need to get a new job.

Ever had someone tell you about doing something and then compare its completion to finishing a marathon? It’s never like a marathon at all, is it?

“I was stuck on the highway forever. It took like half an hour to go a mile. It was awful. It was like a marathon.” Oh yeah? That’s weird, in the three marathons I’ve run I don’t recall ever sitting for two hours.

“I had to stuff envelopes for like three hours. It was like a marathon.” No, asshole, it wasn’t. Paper cuts aren’t a risk normally associated with running 26.2 miles.

“We had to load up our two bedroom into a Uhaul and drive two miles and unload it all. There were like two flight of stairs. Ugggghhhh, it was like a marathon.” Look, fuckface. What are you, a girl? When you run a marathon you can’t just take a break halfway through and order a pizza and split a six-pack.